Kelsee-Marie's Journey
Written by Kelsee-Marie's Mummy, Lynn
Hi, This is our story about our beloved daughter Kelsee-Marie .
She wasn't my first , she was my 9th successful pregnancy as I had so many miscarriages. But nothing to say why , previous genetic tests had been done with nothing to explain this.
I conceived in the April of 2003, by 8 weeks I just thought there was something wrong but couldn't put my finger on it, the hospital reassured me that everything was okay at this stage , the scan went well nothing unusual..
Even at 12 weeks they told me not to worry as I had enough to think about with my mum ill with cancer... As all my other pregnancies before her I did the 17 week blood test for downs etc....
I went for a growth scan at 20 weeks where they discovered cysts on her brain. They told me it could be Down's syndrome...... the trainee doctors ran out the room crying.....
They asked to do more tests , l refused an amniocentesis so they did bloods instead.
During all this my mum was diagnosed as terminal with her cancer... I was very upset, I also had a young family to deal with.
At 24 weeks I had to go back for another scan, 12 hours after my mum had passed away....
As I Lay on that bed in the scan room the full truth of what was wrong with her was being unfolded and I just sat there.
I couldn't think....
I just shed my tears .
My husband just sat there numb
I just couldn't believe our baby had this, Trisomy 18...
They were talking about termination, I just wanted to leave, there was just too much going on..... They gave me about 5 days to think about it.
It was time to go back and have another scan, I was ushered into a room with two paediatricians, two obstetricians and a senior nurse. As soon as we sat down, we were bombarded, they kept saying your baby probably won't even make the birth, even if it does it will die.........
They only wanted one answer from us and that was too kill our baby...
My husband Mick left it up to me to decide what to do, I couldn't do what they wanted I couldn't kill our baby it was all too much.....
I had to go back at 28 weeks again, another scan.
Then more pressure and sad to say more bullying.
They thought we didn't know what the final out come would be . They even got the nurse to try and make us change our minds. After what seemed forever we left standing firm and wouldn't give in to them.
I had to go every few weeks for scans. No one supporting or helping us...
I started to take fluid in the uterus . So was checked every week.
By 32 weeks, we knew we were having a little girl.
I just wanted the pregnancy to get to full term as possible...every time I thought something had happened I would get a little kick from her to say that she was still there alive...
At 35 weeks measuring 42 weeks with 60 percent fluid in my uterus and feeling poorly our little daughter Kelsee-Marie was born at 12.31 pm by section on the 12th of December 2003 she only weighed 2 pound & eight ounces.
She was rushed straight away to neonatal, I didn't see her that day as had to take it easy...
I was told she looked just like her big sister and copper hair.
Docs had to do tests as they said they couldn't physically see the syndrome in her....
The first day she looked great , by the second that's when things started to change she had to be put on oxygen, they found out she had a fiscular . All her oxygen was going into her stomach via her lungs. The specialists said they wouldn't operate yet as she was too small. They started too feed her introveniously, our daughter fought a hard fight..
By the third day we knew it was Edwards that she had.
We asked if she lived long enough that could they transfer her to the nearest hospice as it was closer and we wanted her siblings to spend time with her... I think by then the doctors realised all we ever wanted was to say hello and goodbye to her......
She started to really deteriorate, by the end of the third day they had to bring her back . We knew it wasn't good.
On the fourth day by tea time she was christened with us and three of her siblings and her god parents, this was so heart breaking. ..
We saw a Peacock butterfly next to the Christmas tree in the hallway not far from where she was....
I would sit with her at around 5 am every morning that seemed to be her worst time.
On the fifth and final morning she wasn't doing great . Her little tummy was so bloated, her colour had changed, she was so poorly....
Mick had to rush to get a little outfit for her . A lovey little pink dress . The colour suited her, was just a bit big..
11.30 on the morning of the 17th of December 2003 we were told the worst news any parent could hear that Kelsee-Marie our beloved baby was dying
They wanted to take her off the machines as she wasn't doing well, I said you can't make us make this decision , we just couldn't ..... We were told they were making it for us..
We were told what was going to happen... After this we'd went back to where she was.. We watched them give her extra morphine to ease her pain...
It didn't seem long after that they were whipping of her breathing apparatus and everything else she was attached to away. After she was clear of all equipment she was placed in my arms within a minute she fought for her last breath, that image I'm afraid is buried in my head to this day..
Her death wasn't peaceful at all, No one had prepared me for this.. .. She died exactly to the dot of the time she was born. 12.31 pm
They took her to a room they had prepared for us to stay. As we were going there we saw that peacock butterfly for the last time.
The nurse bathed her and dressed her.
Mick stayed briefly then went away to tell our family & plan her funeral .
I was left alone cuddling her.
Mick came back and we stayed with her stayed with her all night, I hated leaving.
We said goodnight to her on the 27 th December 2003.
It was so hard for everyone.
The second time in just a few months that we had to say goodnight to someone we loved
Hi, This is our story about our beloved daughter Kelsee-Marie .
She wasn't my first , she was my 9th successful pregnancy as I had so many miscarriages. But nothing to say why , previous genetic tests had been done with nothing to explain this.
I conceived in the April of 2003, by 8 weeks I just thought there was something wrong but couldn't put my finger on it, the hospital reassured me that everything was okay at this stage , the scan went well nothing unusual..
Even at 12 weeks they told me not to worry as I had enough to think about with my mum ill with cancer... As all my other pregnancies before her I did the 17 week blood test for downs etc....
I went for a growth scan at 20 weeks where they discovered cysts on her brain. They told me it could be Down's syndrome...... the trainee doctors ran out the room crying.....
They asked to do more tests , l refused an amniocentesis so they did bloods instead.
During all this my mum was diagnosed as terminal with her cancer... I was very upset, I also had a young family to deal with.
At 24 weeks I had to go back for another scan, 12 hours after my mum had passed away....
As I Lay on that bed in the scan room the full truth of what was wrong with her was being unfolded and I just sat there.
I couldn't think....
I just shed my tears .
My husband just sat there numb
I just couldn't believe our baby had this, Trisomy 18...
They were talking about termination, I just wanted to leave, there was just too much going on..... They gave me about 5 days to think about it.
It was time to go back and have another scan, I was ushered into a room with two paediatricians, two obstetricians and a senior nurse. As soon as we sat down, we were bombarded, they kept saying your baby probably won't even make the birth, even if it does it will die.........
They only wanted one answer from us and that was too kill our baby...
My husband Mick left it up to me to decide what to do, I couldn't do what they wanted I couldn't kill our baby it was all too much.....
I had to go back at 28 weeks again, another scan.
Then more pressure and sad to say more bullying.
They thought we didn't know what the final out come would be . They even got the nurse to try and make us change our minds. After what seemed forever we left standing firm and wouldn't give in to them.
I had to go every few weeks for scans. No one supporting or helping us...
I started to take fluid in the uterus . So was checked every week.
By 32 weeks, we knew we were having a little girl.
I just wanted the pregnancy to get to full term as possible...every time I thought something had happened I would get a little kick from her to say that she was still there alive...
At 35 weeks measuring 42 weeks with 60 percent fluid in my uterus and feeling poorly our little daughter Kelsee-Marie was born at 12.31 pm by section on the 12th of December 2003 she only weighed 2 pound & eight ounces.
She was rushed straight away to neonatal, I didn't see her that day as had to take it easy...
I was told she looked just like her big sister and copper hair.
Docs had to do tests as they said they couldn't physically see the syndrome in her....
The first day she looked great , by the second that's when things started to change she had to be put on oxygen, they found out she had a fiscular . All her oxygen was going into her stomach via her lungs. The specialists said they wouldn't operate yet as she was too small. They started too feed her introveniously, our daughter fought a hard fight..
By the third day we knew it was Edwards that she had.
We asked if she lived long enough that could they transfer her to the nearest hospice as it was closer and we wanted her siblings to spend time with her... I think by then the doctors realised all we ever wanted was to say hello and goodbye to her......
She started to really deteriorate, by the end of the third day they had to bring her back . We knew it wasn't good.
On the fourth day by tea time she was christened with us and three of her siblings and her god parents, this was so heart breaking. ..
We saw a Peacock butterfly next to the Christmas tree in the hallway not far from where she was....
I would sit with her at around 5 am every morning that seemed to be her worst time.
On the fifth and final morning she wasn't doing great . Her little tummy was so bloated, her colour had changed, she was so poorly....
Mick had to rush to get a little outfit for her . A lovey little pink dress . The colour suited her, was just a bit big..
11.30 on the morning of the 17th of December 2003 we were told the worst news any parent could hear that Kelsee-Marie our beloved baby was dying
They wanted to take her off the machines as she wasn't doing well, I said you can't make us make this decision , we just couldn't ..... We were told they were making it for us..
We were told what was going to happen... After this we'd went back to where she was.. We watched them give her extra morphine to ease her pain...
It didn't seem long after that they were whipping of her breathing apparatus and everything else she was attached to away. After she was clear of all equipment she was placed in my arms within a minute she fought for her last breath, that image I'm afraid is buried in my head to this day..
Her death wasn't peaceful at all, No one had prepared me for this.. .. She died exactly to the dot of the time she was born. 12.31 pm
They took her to a room they had prepared for us to stay. As we were going there we saw that peacock butterfly for the last time.
The nurse bathed her and dressed her.
Mick stayed briefly then went away to tell our family & plan her funeral .
I was left alone cuddling her.
Mick came back and we stayed with her stayed with her all night, I hated leaving.
We said goodnight to her on the 27 th December 2003.
It was so hard for everyone.
The second time in just a few months that we had to say goodnight to someone we loved